Good Morning from Warren Grove, Prince Edward Island

Put the kettle on and let’s have a chin wag.

The Island's Covid News as of April 1. 

It is Easter weekend. A time when Christians observe the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I feel it is a more transformational holiday than Christmas.

Even wonder, about 'the' resurrection? Myth, Mystery of Fact? Take a peak at this video on Ask Questions. 

The spiritual life of one person should never be a carbon copy of that of another. ~ Benner

Last weeks blog was about kindness.

The longer I live, the more I notice how valuable it is to do one simple thing: be kind.
- When someone does a good job, tell them.
- When someone makes a mistake, forgive them.
- When someone tells you their problems, listen.
Being kind barely costs a thing. You'll hardly remember you did it, but the other person may never forget that you did. ~ James Clear, Author

Forgiveness is the theme of Easter.

In any bond of depth and significance, forgive, forgive, forgive. And then forgive again. The richest relationships are lifeboats, but they are also submarines that descend to the darkest and most disquieting places, to the unfathomed trenches of the soul where our deepest shames and foibles and vulnerabilities live, where we are less than we would like to be. Forgiveness is the alchemy by which the shame transforms into the honor and privilege of being invited into another’s darkness and having them witness your own with the undimmed light of love, of sympathy, of nonjudgmental understanding. Forgiveness is the engine of buoyancy that keeps the submarine rising again and again toward the light, so that it may become a lifeboat once more. ~ John Lewis

To discuss forgiveness in relation to my own story involves going over and through the valleys of shame and guilt associated with poor decisions and actions. Fortunately, for me and those around me I have come to understand, accept and internalize the reasons for Christs death and resurrection. 

David G. Benner, PhD, is an internationally known depth psychologist, author, and wisdom teacher. His life's work facilitates human unfolding through a journey of awakening and transformation. Dr. Benner has said, “Self-acceptance always precedes genuine self-surrender and self-transformation.”

And I appreciate the non-judgmental approach he shares when he says, “the spiritual life of one person should never be a carbon copy of that of another.”

I learned forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forgive a person, the memory of the hurt still stays with us; but forgiveness changes the way we remember it though.

I know for too many years, I carried resentment and hurt. 

When we forgive the adults of years past or our friends for breaking a trust we no longer have to experience ourselves as the victims of events we had no control over. Taking responsibility for one's life and outcomes converts a curse into a blessing.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does in large the future.
~ Paul Boese
The only people we can change is ourselves. Forgiving others is the beginning of healing our own hearts.

Forgiving others and ourselves reclaims our dignity! 

Forgiveness, thus, liberates not only the other but also ourselves.

Our hearts long for perfect love; it is how we are wired. We were made in the image of it.  We all want peace. Daily I need to remind myself to forgive; I can't expect to receive that perfect peace if I don't.

The only perfection we will experience in life is accepting perfection is impossible to get. We just need to surrender to it, lean into it and keep trying. 

"The only way to learn forgiveness is to be betrayed. You might understand the intellectual concept of forgiveness, but you will only learn how to truly forgive when someone has done something that requires you to love them and let it go. Life demands these hurtful experiences for you to learn how forgiveness feels, it could be no other way. If there is anyone in your life that you must forgive, instead of seeing them as someone who has hurt you, try to see them as someone who was sent to teach you forgiveness and thank them for this precious gift - then forgive them, and let it go."

~ Jackson Kiddard

In an article written by the Mayo Clinic Staff, they cite the downsides of holding a grudge are that you:

  • Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
  • Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present
  • Become depressed or anxious
  • Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs
  • Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

The benefits of forgiving someone are many. They list the benefits that come from forgiving someone are that you have:

  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Stronger immune system
  • Improved heart health
  • Higher self-esteem

When you measure the downside of holding a grudge versus the benefits of forgiving it is a pretty compelling argument for why you should just forgive whoever hurt your feelings and move forward.

One trick to help might be to print off a notecard with the benefits of forgiving on one side and the downside of holding a grudge on the other side. Then keep the card with you so whenever someone hurt your feelings you can pull out your card and remind yourself how you would rather move forward.

Stop stewing and start doing. Forgive.

Happy Easter,

With love from Prince Edward Island,

Bruce & Shirley, Lauren, Emily, and pet cats Rocky, Bobbi & Millie, the Aussie dog

PS. Your Morning Smile: 

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died. All three are faced with God, who wants to know what they believe in.

The German shepherd says, “I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master.”

“Good,” says God. “Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?”

The Doberman answers, “I believe in the love, care and protection of my master.”

“Ah, yes,” said God. “You may sit to my left.”

Then he looks at the cat and asks, “And what do you believe in?”

The cat answers, “I believe you’re sitting in my seat.”